I can't wait... NO really I can't...

That phase has two meanings to me. I can't wait to be financially secure, I can't wait to have to a motorcycle, I can't wait to have a family, I can't wait to be a stay at home wife and mom, I can't wait to find that true love I am searching for. But if you change the way to approach that sentence and say (or read) it more like this.. I, can't (just sit around) and wait to have a family or be a stay at home mom and wife. Life is passing me by. I would love to have someone to share moments in life with... to have more kids, to feel the support of someone who loves me. But I can't just sit around and wait. Now is the time for living. Now is the time to say, I can do this. Now is the time to figure out what I have always known to be true and live it. Now is the time to be the strong independent woman I know I am, now is not the time for self pitty or feeling sorry for myself (which I have been). Now is the time to love life. To enjoy every minute I can with Dakota. To stop worrying about what I can't do with him, and embrace the time I do have with him. Being a working mom is a hard job. Harder than just being a mom or just being a career woman. And trust me, this is not the life I thought I would have.. but going back to school, making our life better, doing the best I can. Now is the time for change. A change in how we do every day life. I have a lot of hope for the next year. Now I just need to find the motivation to put all these hopes and goals into action. Looking forward to 2013.
 So here is the plan.
1. Family Scripture Study every morning before school
2. Meal planning
3. Family game night
4. Journal writing
5. blogging more
6. more fugal living
I am so excited to start this year.. I see amazing things in my future. Hope everyone has an amazing new year with blessings every day!

Much love :)

Life- Always moving... Always Changing

(sorry this post has no pictures.. but it's not long.. so enjoy anyways!)

So a lot has been going on.... mostly in my head. (I mean thinking!) I have been doing a lot of thinking. About where my life needs to go.. and what I need to do to get it there. So I am thinking of going to school. I don't say going "back" to school, because that would imply I went to school in the first place. I have thought of 2 different majors I want to pursue. One being nursing. One always needs a good nurse, the second being a childhood/adolescent counselor. But as my sister Robin pointed out, I would probably end up crying right along with whoever I was trying to council. So I will have to think a little more on that one. So that is my long term goal. Finish school! It's funny to think back to when I was in High School. I never, and mean NEVER thought about a career. I was always going to be a mom and wife. I never planned on working or even thought I would ever have to work. But now I am at a place in my life I need to think about a career and not just a job. I am excited to look forward to a new adventure. And who knows I might even be your nurse one day. LOL

Other things have been going on.. and this more of a a prayer request. I have some medical things going on, I found out at my physical that I am very very anemic. It's not life threatening, I do have to go in for an Iron replacement treatment. Nothing serious. It is a 6 hour procedure in which they infuse me thought an IV with iron, to bring my levels back up where they need to be. My doctor says I will be amazed at how fast I start feeling better ( I didn't know i felt bad, I have anemic since I was 15). So who knows, I might turn into super woman after this procedure. But they still need to find out why I am losing iron or not absorbing it as I should. So I just ask that you keep me and the doctors in your prayers that they will find the reason.

But I feel now that my life has direction and guidance. I am excited for the next few months and even the next few years.

Book of Mormon in 3 Months

SO I have a little confession to make. I have never read the Book of Mormon cover to cover before. Sure I went to seminary, but to me that didn't really count.. we didn't read ALL of it. So my goal in the next 3 months is to have the Book of Mormon read. Less time on facebook, and watching silly shows on NETFLIX and more time reading the word of God. I am excited for the next 3 months. I need a favor from all of you? (if anyone really reads this or not, I am not sure).. but keep me in check... I am going to have be very focused to get this done. But I think for me, this is so important. This year's theme in Primary is something like "I love to read the scriptures" I can't teach Dakota to love the scriptures if I don't read them. So it's time to gain my testimony of them, to learn what they have in store for me.

Looking for the Rainbow

So a lot has been going on in a very short amount of time. The divorce was final on the 10th of Jan. Peter came into town, and took Dakota home with him for the month of January. I was not sure how I was supposed to feel, it was a bitter-sweet moment.

A lot of you know that I have been trying to get back on active duty, and was pretty sure I was going to get a recruiting job in Salt Lake city. Well it looks like that is not going to happen. At least not any time soon. I was really upset about this not going through. But after reading something last sunday in church, it gave me new perseptive on things that happen in life. In Moroni 7:26 it says " Whatsoever thing ye shall as the Father in my name which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receieve, behold it shall be done unto you" now here is her take (and mine) on that scripture. Anything you ask the Father in the name of Jesus Chris will be done.. but not just ANYTHING... anything that is good.. and NOT JUST GOOD... but GOOD FOR ME! That is so amazing to me. Heavnly father does know me. He knows what is good for me. So even though the things I may be praying for are good and righteous, they are not part of God's eternal plan for me. WOW.. that is amazing stuff. I love it. I love finding simple truths.

So here I will stay in Colorado. Working, and living. I am excited to stay. There are lots of fun things ahead... I am happy and content with course I am on. There is a reason I am here... and it will be a grand adventure to find out why.

Dakota and Santa

This was taken in Utah after much coaxing to get him up there.. He had a blast telling Santa all the TRANSFORMERS he wanted. It was super cute. I love this picture. He just looks so happy in it. My little boy is growing up.

Thanksgiving... not just one day a year

This was my first Thanksgiving without Dakota. He spent November in Utah with his dad... and had a great time. I was supposed to go to Montrose to be with mom and dad.. but a storm hit the mountains and I wasn't about to drive in that crap by myself. So I stayed home. Thank goodness for great friends. I enjoyed a wonderful meal with some from friends from the Grandview ward, and watched the Cowboys lose to the Saints. I was sad to not be with family... but after some long and lonely nights. I have come to realize all that I am THANKFUL for this year. This has been a rough year. So it's been hard for me to find things to be thankful for. But here is my list this year of things I am Thankful for....

My Family

Dakota

My Families Health

My Uncle Johnnie is still with us

My faith

The Gospel of Jesus Christ

My brothers and sister in uniform

New roads to be traveled

Amazing Friends

May we always be truly grateful for the precious things in our lives. Let us not take for granted what we have. And embrace the trials we are faced with.

My big 3-0 and FUN-tober is here

Recap of my birthday really quick- I have awesome friends. The night I was supposed to have my party... EVERYTHING went wrong.. so I canceled.. I fully planned on staying home in my "comfy" clothes.. eating ice cream and watching some sappy movie.. but would that be allowed.. oh no.. my wonderful friend Kelly wouldn't let the happen.. so I had to get dressed up (in my sunday best) and went to Women's Conference with her.. SO glad I did.. than off to Village inn, for what I thought was going to be dinner and pie with just Kelly.. oh no..all my great girlfriends showed up to celebrate my birthday with me. Than.. on the 30th..I took the day off of work.. ( I NEVER WORK ON MY BIRTHDAY.. even out too sea.. somehow I have always had the day off).. I came downtown to say goodbye to some wonderful people at a pot luck at work.. than went home and did NOTHING!.. Dinner with Rachael and Kelly at Hickory House (it's way yum).. then Kelly made me the cutest cake. Again just a great day! The weekend was great with Conference... and Tuesday Dakota came home! So it has been a wonderful birthday! I have amazing friends and family... I am one blessed girl! Life is always changing.. you have to learn to change with it. It's never what you thought it would..

I LOVE OCTOBER!! Yes I am not one for cold weather.. but October seems to be a good cooling off month. I love the crisp-ness in the air. The fall festivals, the cool nights, apple cider, Halloween (my favorite holiday), and something new this year.. we (Dakota and I) are going to "Boo at the Zoo". This time of year the world around us is changing, seems to fit well with the status in life right now.. Change is word for the month.
Change is attitude
Change in jobs
Change in living arrangements
Change in life
Just change all around.
Life is good right now. Looking forward to the next few months... but also just taking things one day at a time.
Happy October everyone~~